...do more than exist, live...live, love, and enjoy life

Thursday, 19 May 2016

Somebody ran off with my stuff!!!

Thief!!!! Thief!!! Wait!!! Please wait???!!! Somebody help!!! Somebody please help me!!!

Somebody just ran off with my stuff!!! My precious valuable stuff...

I chased after him in the market....bumping into people...screaming, yelling and begging...I yelled and asked begged him to stop. The louder I yelled, it seemed though, the faster he ran.

Somebody just ran off with my stuff...

See my stuff has always been priceless to me, at least my younger self would say so.

The person, this person though, he'd slung it over his shoulder, it trailed the path he trod, it kissed the mud and slapped the dirty puddles. I watched in horror! How would I go home without my stuff? How would I face over, and over, and over again, my wet and begging face with this horrible truth; the truth of an unrecoverable loss?

There was a horribly daunting inner commotion, and then came a vomit of tears, as reality slowly set in...my stuff was gone! Gone for good!

Somebody just ran off with my precious stuff...

Somebody just ran off with my stuff? That person actually ran walked off with my stuff...he wasn't running...he wasn't even aware that he had my stuff...he wasn't even aware that my stuff was of value to me. It was casually sitting on his shoulders as he walked off. In a dirty, torn plastic bag...

Was he still therefore, deserving of the title "thief"? 

There went my once precious and valuable stuff. When did I release such a vast amount of power to someone else? The power to trash my stuff? The power to walk off with my stuff?

Here is the funny fact: as I stand amidst the crowd? The inner witness condemns me:

What am I doing at the market? How did I get here? Here to this place...this awful space where I'd made it okay to think that I could trade my stuff...I could negotiate on the value of my priceless stuff...I could let the best bidder walk away with my stuff?

I am unlearning and re-learning the basic principles of life; "you are worth more  than the birds in the air...worth more than the luscious green grass...worth more than the beautifully clothed wild flowers...in all their glory, and beauty...you are far much more precious than them."I say to myself.

Your stuff is a representative of everything that makes you tick; your dignity, your respect, your intelligence...your personality...your beautiful attributes...your words...your insight...your life...and every imaginable beauty that you graciously enjoy on a daily basis. Keep your stuff off the market...it's price is never  up for negotiation :)

Wednesday, 11 May 2016

The Truth About Identity

There is more to life than what I am chained to!

Identity: Who am I? Where have I come from? How did I get here? Where do I want to go? How can I get there?

Who am I??? What do I want to accomplish? If I continue the way I am, will I get to where I really want to go? If I get there, will I be happy? And will that really fulfill me at my deepest level?

We struggle often with finding equilibrium…equipoise…parity...symmetry…simply put? It’s a struggle to find balance, stability, equality…in the midst of this chaos that we call life.

Often too many times we keep convincing ourselves that we are in control, ha! We got this!!! Hehaaa! But deep down, we know we are the puppets…

Identity...the root cause of the problem! Everyone wants to feel accepted, everyone wants to feel loved. I wondered today though; What if I lived my life knowing that I am loved???

How my life would be if I trusted that I am loved by God. I would be able to give anything because money would not represent points…lack of it would not be a failure...I wouldn’t be trying to find an identity…to find acceptance…

What if I was wholly secure in His love for me? What if I was wholly and deeply, and madly in love with Him as He is with me? What if I based my whole life trying to know Him, and love Him right and listen to Him, and converse with Him, and stand up for Him, and meet Him?

What if I longed to talk to Him, and be with Him…

What if the love I dream of giving to "him", I’d give to Him

Being able to rest in the freedom of being myself without having something to prove...

It would be quite beautiful, really :)

I wanna live my life knowing that I am loved by You…because I am. 
This is the immovable truth : I am loved by Him…unconditionally!

Tuesday, 3 May 2016

For Whom is This?

It's not until the ship is sinking,
That you brace yourself and do some thinking.
Was this really worth it?
Or for myself I dug a wide pit?
If you like it you ought to crown it.
But I question it, and so I frown it!
I like...I like not,
I'm certain...well maybe not!
Then for whom is this?
Did I just make a huge miss?
Does it really glorify His?
And if not, then for whom is this?

Mystery number one is my uncertainty.
All I need now is a surety,
That I'm doing this for all it's worth,
And that it's not just some miscalculated math.
It's the way it makes me feel,
Like something at the bottom of someone's heel!
Would I question a path rightly taken?
Would I mention this doubt in me awakened?
Well, may be I'm just being paranoid,
Things not going my way making me annoyed,
Maybe it was really worth the trouble,
And not a misfortune meant to burst my bubble!

***If you asked me what the human being's greatest frustration is, I'd say that it's the reality of uncertainty about tomorrow. We take chances, or are afraid of taking chances, we live life, we learn new things, we stumble in life, but we're never sure whether tomorrow will be a better day, no?

See, we live in a broken world, and we feel it's brokenness daily. Life is like an empty canvas, we paint it green, and blue, and red, and grey, with our day to day adventures. My two cents? Try the colour of life! Don't just be content with an empty sheet. ***

Monday, 2 May 2016

Our Pretty Little Words.

A few words were spoken…pretty little words, wrapped in pretty little boxes with pink shiny bows that had floral prints. 

But past the little charade, past the whispers, 
way past the media, and past the noises, 
past the closed doors, past the silent whispers, 
and the cheerful facades…behind all that, was the truth of the matter;
empty words and displaced emotions! Disguised charity…

Who are we?

What is our motivation?

Would we do the very same thing if the setting was different? 
If no one was watching…if the two desperate eyes were all the audience that I had…
if the dirty, shriveled hand was wide stretched out for me…
would my charity be in millions, or in zeros?

Are we genuine in our charitable acts?

What is in the shadows? The secret chambers of our hearts? Can we bring it to the light? For everyone else to see, to judge, to learn from? Is it beautiful, is it genuine, what is in my heart?

So many humans I say, but such little humanity.

If not us, then who? If not now, then when?

I rest my case. 


We call them 'Mheshimiwa', call them 'Professor', 'Dr. M',
'His Excellency', 'My Lord'...the list has no end.
Reflected in society as hardworking patriots, advocating for their rights.
'The vulnerable' in society in need of a pay-rise to cater for some bites.
Sweet tongues used to poison the minds of the rightfully needy,
Yet they, personally are not really needy but just greedy.

Call themselves, 'the next big thing',
Their pomp and glamour scream out, "The next in-thing!"
Not judged by the content of their character,
Because they are content with the name 'car actor'
Meaning; acting in their cars to live lives not weedy,
Because they are not really needy, but just greedy.

They love to hide behind the phrase, 'kuleta maendeleo',
Yet all they do is promote 'mapendeleo'
Maybe they should be labelled the next Oprah Winfrey,
Because all they know and love to do is win free!
Let's take a stand, let's say, "NO!!!" to these schemy people,
Because we have discovered that they are not really needy but just greedy people!

***The government was silent when we died, but what did I do to make the situation better? What did you do? What was your contribution? What was my contribution?
If not us then who? If not now, then when?***