...do more than exist, live...live, love, and enjoy life

Saturday, 31 October 2015

The End of Blogtober!

The goofy smile...when you finally learn how to use graphic tools to make your own graphics!

The curtains are finally starting to fall across the ball room. October is almost over…Blogtober as well…

With this piece I slide across that floor, in an attempt to prove to the readers that we can manage a proper, yet graceful tango with words. Words are beautiful…words are healing, words are life…words? 26 letters of the alphabet…capable of being arranged in countless different ways, to create something beautiful with every attempt!

Our tango is blissful; we twirl, we smile, we hold, we stare…into each other’s eyes. My final piece and I! We are a match made in heaven! We tango for hours...
The result? A standing ovation from the audience… we hold hands, and take our final bow. The curtains are let loose over the ball room...

Goodbye Blogtober, hello November!

My heart is bursting with gratitude as I pen these words. I appreciate every single awesomeness, that has been put into my blog this month. I had been on a personal challenge...the blogtober challenge: blog every day in October. Well, at the end of the month I have blogged 15 times...fifteen? Never in my life time have I blogged so much in a month...let alone in a year!

And you have made the experience worth it...with every kind word, with every +1, with every share, and every comment, with every encouraging word, and every advice...
Advice? I have had lots of that...I have met some beautiful souls...some gifted humans...amazing bloggers...a friendly community. I'm back to believing, that beautiful people are still out there! 

Special shout out to this genius, if you ever get to read this...
*she pulls out her note book and inscribes his name in the list of inspirational people...that list of wahenga (means the wise ones in my language)*
Find time to follow his whacko group of blogs..believe me when I tell you, it's worth your while!

I'd say to every person that will read these words...there was wisdom in the words, "practice makes perfect." Keep trying, keep learning, keep doing, that thing that puts a goofy smile on your face...irregardless of imperfection. 
A good writer writes something every day...not really publishes...just writes...even if it's a sentence at a go...it gets easier with practice. It's a principle that applies in all areas of life...tested and proved!

I've been in that awkward place between finishing law school, and waiting for admission to the Bar. And as I've been waiting? I've thought of my first case, and a life of litigation...and for a second, a long second, a very long second...that life scared me. But this month I've learned...it gets easy with practice...start, try, give it a shot...whatever you endeavour to do? Let it evolve from a thought, to an action! It gets easy with practice!

For the blogger? We are in an age where there's a frenzy of selfies...pose, tap, snap, post...then, wait for a response...if none is forthcoming? Repeat that process! Pose, tap, snap, post...
Do not treat your blog as a selfie, dear blogger! A blog post is meant to be timeless; to make sense even years to come. Give it time, give it a thought...put in effort, invest hard- work!
On responses? You may not always get as many as you wish to, but believe in yourself, stick to your cause...let passion and a love for words drive you! keep writing. When you're obsessed with responses? When you check your stats every five minutes after a post...believe me, being frustrated becomes inevitable! So keep calm, and give it your best shot...and while at it? employ due diligence.

So...on other news...I waited too long to steal this from the genius I mentioned above, hehaa! So here goes: where to find my collection in Blogtober. I hope my words made sense to you this month...I hope they were helpful. Your time, and support was, and still is highly appreciated.

Nuff said...case rested! Mad love for all of you faithful ninjas!

Thoughts to Build on: The collection

Thoughts to build on: The Thirteen

It is a Blogger's job to get people reading his/ her posts, therefore, in that spirit of creative ways to do so, here's the collection! Thirteen of them? I'm in awe...thank you my faithful Ninjas,
for your love and support during this Blogtober. Thank you as well, the genius mind behind this idea...I did warn you that I'd steal it, no? So here goes my theft;

Thought to build on: Vol. 1- About solitude
Thought to build on: Vol. 2- On Gratitude
Thought to build on: Vol. 3- On Persistence
Thought to build on: Vol. 4- On Change
Thought to build on: Vol. 5- On Living Authentically
Thought to build on: Vol. 6- On Living Passionately
Thought to build on: Vol. 7- About Purpose
Thought to build on: Vol. 8- While You Still Can...
Thought to build on: Vol. 9- A letter to My Future Self
Thought to build on: Vol. 10- On the End of The Cycle of Life
Thought to build on: Vol. 11- The Voices in Your Head
Thought to build on: Vol. 12- On Comparison
Thought to build on: Vol. 13- The Road on Which I tread

Friday, 30 October 2015

Thoughts to build on: Vol. 13

Today's thought: The road, on which I tread, is full of uncertainties.
Sometimes it's dark and scary, I'm tempted to turn around and run to safety. Unable to see miles ahead, I stumble into puddles; I get socked in the dirt...in the mud...in the pools of dirty water...this road on which I tread...

Sometimes I'm able to see, but just one step ahead...and so I have to trust, what lays ahead. My toe hits a stone, and the pain is unbelievable!!! This road on which I tread...

Far yonder, somewhere after this road, there is a home, my home. The only way to get home? is by treading this road. I pass through lonely vales, it rains and I get socked and cold. Sometimes I'm very hungry, sometimes I'm tired too. 
I do have my fair share of mountains though, as I tread on this road! I stand at the peak of these mountains, to see the world. Sometimes though, I forget that the aim is to see the world; to see, the beauty of where I'm going, and so I want the world to see me...on top of the mountain...and when I'm consumed by that thought? I fail!

The road gets so narrow sometimes, the thorny branches on the side are brushing my face and scarring it...but with tears trickling down this face, and blood oozing from every "oozable" spot, I forge ahead...I tread my road...this journey on which I'm on? I'm determined to finish it!

The road on which I tread...far beyond this road is my home, is my rest.
I will to tread carefully, to tread wisely, so that one day? I will get home, to safety, to rest, in one piece.

Wednesday, 28 October 2015

Thoughts to build on: Vol. 12

Today's thought: The limitation of life is that you only get to experience it through your eyes. The sad thing though, is that we spend so much of that time on comparison...

There are a few poems that I have loved as much as I have loved Max Erhmann's 'Desiderata'. That? is a poem that I love too much! It's so old; it was written in 1927. Yet it's still full of knowledge applicable to the 21st century human being.

An extract from that poem says, "If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself."

Comparison is a thief of joy...
See as I have said severally before, every human has a special something to offer this world. There is something in this world, that only you can do with a certain degree of precision and competence that is unique to you. I've often loved to think of it as a pulpit of influence...and I have said this before as well, but my dad often says, "If you've heard this before, bear with me, putting in mind that every song has a chorus!" So I will repeat my chorus;

There is a sphere of influence that only you can reach out to;

A pulpit that only you have access to, and can stand on;

A group of people that respect only you enough to listen to;

A certain thing that only you can do with a degree of precision and competence, that is unique to you!

So quit comparing yourself to others...the grass is always greener on the other side where it is watered! The grass is greener probably because on the other side it's well taken care of, it's given access to enough sunshine, and enough fertilizer!

Look over the fence for inspiration, but water your own yard if you crave green grass! Accept yourself just the way you are, forgive your past wrongs and love yourself unconditionally, for no one else but God, and you, can love you that way. Never ever compare yourself to anyone else...you have no comparison! You are unique just the way you are.

Well, nuff said!

Monday, 26 October 2015

Thoughts to build on: Vol. 11


Today's thought: 
It's a progressive thing, a slow fade.
You were just sitting at a coffee bar, sipping your cappuccino, drowned in a fug of bonhomie...minding your own business. He throws a pebble at you...the pebble is so small, it doesn't hurt when it hits the small of your temple. He gets your attention...
He is speaking, and you are listening. Day after day? He pulls a chair right across you, to sit by you, to give you that day's daily dosage of poison words. He watches you...to see how you react. 
He taunts you, he probes you...
He smiles at you, he laughs at you...
Like a pregnancy, his words grow in you, until their presence is obvious.
You try to deny his existence...but oh well...that has never worked! He keeps visiting, he invites his relatives...they all look like him...they all feed you with their poison words...their voices, in your head...those voices, they mock you, they taunt you, they won't let you be. You get to that point, where the noises, and the voices are so loud...you are not sure whether they are their words, or your own words. You no longer know the difference!
See sometimes you're sitting alone, and a thought passes through your mind, you look around and wonder, "Who said that!!! Surely those could not have been my words...they could not have emanated from my mind..." The words are now in you. They have taken you over, and you're no longer in control of your thoughts...

Those words in your head, they remind you of that cat that you had once tried to scare away. That cat that stood some distance from your door. You looked it in the eye, threw your foot forward and shouted, "booh!" It stared on at you, but made no effort to move, even just an inch! That was scary, but you managed to convince yourself, that it's just a cat so you gave your mission a second shot, you said, "booh!" this time louder, it looked at you, rolled it's eyes, and turned its back on you. From behind, you could see the rhythmic rise and fall of its small shoulders. It was laughing at you! You turned around and ran like crazy...like a coward...you would never try to scare that cat again!

Hello my name is defeat; I think we've met before. Just when you manage to think you have won? I get into your head and remind you of all the times you've tried before and failed. I am a merciless master, just when you think you are free? I remind you that you never really stood a chance; I put you back on that self- doubt trip. That trip of defeat...that trip of self- hate...that trip? of guilt. So you doubt yourself. Meet my cousins; hatred, jealousy, self- hate, self- doubt, lack of confidence, conceitedness, self- pity, complacency, inferiority complex, nonchalance, regret...and this here? is good old insecurity!

Dear me, 
It's time to believe that you are as beautiful (as smart...as victorious...as intelligent) as those who love you say that you are. Speak to the fears that live in you, speak to the voices that might cause self- doubt. You will have those moments, but guess what? You can fight back, and you will pull through…Part of fighting the monster, is acknowledging that he exists. 

Thursday, 22 October 2015

Thoughts to build on: Vol. 10

Today's thought:

Someday I taught my heart,
to look forward to a better tomorrow.
I taught my heart to sing,
the songs that mold my being.
I taught my heart to swing,
to the tunes that give me wing.
I taught my heart to dance,
until I could no longer bounce.

Someday I taught my heart,
to appreciate a lovely moment.
I taught my heart to cry,
when all I could ask was, "why?!".
I taught my heart to be strong,
even when I was sure things would go wrong.
I taught my heart to give,
until there was nothing more to leave.

With that, I thought all lessons were learned,
That I was prepared to face tomorrow,
That I was strong enough for all sorts of sorrow,
That even if things would somehow go wrong,
From this lessons I would definitely borrow.

How far that was from the truth!

Lessons were yet to be learned on loss;
Like grass, in the morning we spring up new,
By evening we are dry and withered.
Lessons were yet to be learned on pain;
The length of our days is 70 years,
Yet their span is but trouble and sorrow.
Lessons were yet to be learned on legacy;
You have numbered our days, oh God!
And one day, You will summon us to account.

So, again I am teaching my heart,
to live life the best way I know how.
I am teaching my heart to see,
value in what is seemingly mundane.
I am teaching my heart to say, 
anything that's worth saying.
I am teaching my heart to listen,
to things said without words.

Today I am teaching my heart,
to give loved ones their flowers.
I am teaching my heart to appreciate,
that what I hold, I hold just for a moment.
I am teaching my heart to live,
authentically without facades, masks, lies or walls.
I am teaching my heart to give,
life is service if I am to leave a good legacy.

***this poem I wrote, at a time of deep sorrow. The saddest and hardest time of my life. See this post to read the story...I finished that post with hope, that I would have more time, to say to her, any other thing worth saying...
Well, today I'm here to give to you, the end of my sad story; things don't always go the way we want them to...but it's important to hope like a crazy being...hope will always give you the strength to face each day with courage. And when things do not go the way you'd hoped they would, as they certainly will sometimes, learn every lesson there is to learn from that situation in your life, for what a waste of pain it would be, to go through a bad experience and fail to take the lesson with you. In the cycle of life? There is a beginning...as there is an end...
I wrote this poem for her funeral...I was requested to...people actually believe in my words, hehaa! The undeserved blessings of this world! ***

I couldn't find a title for this poem...but I shared it, hoping that its words will mean something to you, yes you, reading these words right now. Thanks for taking the time...feel free to suggest a title for the poem.

Update 05.10.2015:
A lovely friend of mine called Trina finally came up with a fabulous title: "Love Unfinished". 
I know, right! That title is too fab! I love so much how it blends the thoughts in this poem, and in the shared story.
Thank you so much Trina...really. You saved the day my friend 

Wednesday, 21 October 2015

Thoughts to build on: Vol. 9

Dear future self,

I’m a writer…I know! I’m not quite sure how I have managed to trick people into thinking so. They take their time, their precious time to stop by…and accord a courteous and patient ear, to my endless ranting…

I have loved too much…this habit I have, of standing on my pulpit of influence and pretending that I have meaningful things to say…life lessons…thoughts to build on…

In my mind I see these people, a crowd of people, willing to read my advice. I stand on my pulpit, I jump up and down...they say that cool people do that, when they are passing across an important point. I stop to stare at the crowd, they stare back…their eyes say, “confusion”, but I see as well, a few approving nods, that keep me standing on that pulpit every day!

My advice I give to myself, but share from my pulpit, hoping that someone will read it, and find it useful…if just one person…oh well…a girl has her dreams…and all dreams are valid!

Dear future me, today though, I saw no crowd, I saw you…older…5 years in the future…

I wondered to myself, whether you would have turned out differently, if I had taken the time to learn the lessons that I am supposed to be learning now…

As usual, I got overcome, by this overwhelming desire to tell you, what I know today, what I wish you will hold on to 5 years from now.

Did you see how I did that? Yaaasss! I managed to trick you too, into thinking of me as an adviser, into sitting down to listen…into giving me your ears…I actually convinced you, to consider doing, what I’m just about to tell you…you’re thinking of it, no? You won’t admit it but I know you are! So listen up future me, listen carefully to my words of wisdom…

Live within your means and stay content and grateful for what you have now, but strive to be at a better place tomorrow.

Look into the mirror every day and speak…speak to the day that lays ahead of you, speak to the fears that live in you, speak to the voices that might cause self- doubt. You may have those moments, but somehow you will pull through…if you believe so.

Hope! Look into the future with expectation. Every day is a new and clean slate. What you have not achieved today, as long as you have breath in you, you can achieve tomorrow.

Humility! Accord a keen ear to all types of people, including the lowly, and even those who seem to have nothing reasonable or sensible to say. Everyone has their story, patiently accord the people around you that chance to narrate their story.

Spend time with those who have aged beautifully, for there’s wisdom in their words and affection in their actions.

Last but not least, remember that your eyes are very beautiful…use them to look for the good in others. Your lips? They have few to compare with…use them to speak only words of kindness. Walk with confidence, having the knowledge that you are never alone. 

From me,
Your blast from the past!

Tuesday, 20 October 2015

Thoughts to build on: Vol. 8

Today's thought: While on my usual cruise in the internet, I saw somewhere a very funny joke: Someone was asked, if they had a choice, to decide the epitaph that would be inscribed on their tombstone,  what would they want inscribed...that person said, 'come too close and this stone is going to fall on your foot'! Being a Kenyan, that beautiful land where we accept the reality of the existence of spirits and the living dead, I actually found that very funny...I laughed too hard, my lungs almost got punctured...and that made my day!!!

I thought about it again today though...the dead and what they make of all our actions...and words about them, after their demise...

My father's words of wisdom, as I have quoted them a gazillion times before, "Give a person their flowers while they are still alive, so they could smell them and see how pretty they are."...

I've often thought of these flowers as words...tell the people around you what you have to say, while they can still understand, and appreciate those words...while those words can still mean something to them...
Those flowers could as well be actions...find time to spend with people that matter to you, while they are still around. For giving your time is one of the greatest things you could ever do for anyone...when you give your time, you give a part of your life...you give something really special!
It could be loving the people around you...for it is important to accept the love that is shown to me and to reciprocate it with great sensitivity. Avoid feigning affection or making fun, of love...even if it is a strange ideology to you...

Whatever meaning you have attached to your flowers, I would say to you...give them to whomever they belong to, while they are still alive to appreciate them, to see them, to touch them, and smell them, and have their hearts warmed by your gesture...

Otherwise, like said in the beginning, try giving them to a deceased person? and that tombstone just might fall on your foot!

Out of curiosity though, if you had that choice to decide what epitaph would be inscribed on your tombstone, what would you want inscribed? Hmmm...