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Saturday, 27 June 2015

Let's have THE Talk; Of Telling the Truth at ALL Times

Scene 1

It’s a beautiful Saturday morning. She’s at the kitchen table, deep in thought. Her face is peaceful though…you always admired that about her; her strength was always unmatched. She gracefully accepted what life threw at her and tried to make the best out of it.

There’s a silence, not an awkward one…because both of you are lost in your thoughts. Then all of a sudden she throws that question at you, “Honey, how do I look today?”

Her face is smiling, her eyes are searching yours…it’s as if she can see right through you…into your soul. An year ago, that would have been an easy question to answer;

“Your beauty is unmatched, your face is lit and glowing, and your hair…it’s nice and shiny. Everything about your outside beauty, is a validation of your inside beauty.”

You always said something along those lines.

But that accident…it had left her scarred…you cried tears of deep pain as you saw what it had done to her. But her soul…remained untouched…her heart remained beautiful…her strength, remained unmatched.

“How do I look?” She wasn’t asking about her inner beauty…and you knew that quite well! But could you get yourself to give her an answer…an honest answer?

Scene 2

You pick the phone and it’s Mum on the other side of the line. You know exactly what she wants to converse about. It’s about him…your husband.

And true to your expectation she asks whether he’s finally got a job…you say nothing. For the past one year, you have been paying the bills, educating the children, fueling the family cars…but you could see that he was trying. He woke up every morning to go look for a job. As far as you know, he being a hardworking man, was never in question.

And he had a gentle heart to match…he is a great priest for your family, an exemplary father for your children. In another life time? You would still gladly choose him!

But your mum? She would have none of that nonsense! You are on phone for hours…listening to her spew her venom.

When you finally hung up, he’s right behind you, smiling and saying,

“Was that Mum? What did she say? Did you tell her I sent my kind regards?”

Could you get yourself to give him an answer…an honest answer? 

I have always believed that the pen (as a representative of words), is mightier than the sword.

Words can break, words can scar, words can maim and ruin lives forever; in the same breath, words are life, words are healing, so words…words can inspire, uplift, and challenge someone to become the best version of themselves.

For me, words are very important. Most of the scars that I bare, from my past, are words- inflicted, but then again my defining moment as I remember it, that moment when I decided that I would rise up to face my challenges with courage, was also an aftermath of someone’s words.

She looked into my eyes and said, “There’s something special about you. You have a very calm spirit, yet you are very intuitive. In your quietness you find time to listen, to reach out, and to be genuinely interested in people. You have the patience to work towards any cause that you believe in and because of that, I know that you are destined for greatness.” Those words were said to me about six years ago by an amazing lady whom I love, celebrate, and honour up till today. She was my life coach.

I cannot even begin to explain where I was at when these words were said to me (that’s a story for another day) but what I can say is that they did a number on me, hehaa! And from that day, I made a promise to myself, that I would always be careful with my words, that my words would always speak life. I vowed never to speak in my anger…that my words would never be instruments of hurt, or of death (emotional or psychological death). My ideal, is to edify with my words.

I had a debate some time ago, with my siblings; whether the truth should be told at all times.

Today…I tried my best to imagine, a world where everyone told the truth at ALL times. It is believed that the truth sets free…well, does it always set one free?

My humble request for you today? Think about this honestly, and seriously, would you want to be told the truth at ALL times? Are you that person that tells everyone the truth at ALL times? Let’s have this talk.

My honest confession to my siblings that day, was that I do not tell the truth at all times. Here’s my rationale: see I’ve always believed that words have the power to create…meaning, they can bring into existence what was naught. Every single person that exists in this world has something special to offer the world…every person has some good in them.

We may not always live as the best version of ourselves, but words? They do have the power to conjure that ability in people.

The truth also…that blatant truth? Most times it’s unnecessary. Most times it will bring more pain than gain.

Think about every imaginable scenario in all aspects and levels of life, and then we can have this talk…should the truth be told at ALL times?

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Wishing you an amazing week though. Enjoy!